This is a guest post written by Major Mike Arnett.  Not only is Mike a world-class Army doctor, he was also my college roommate and easily one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

A few weeks ago, I had dinner with my old friend, Bo Barron.  Bo was on the way to the airport in Nashville.   He was flying to Connecticut where he would be speaking on the use of technology in the commercial real estate industry.  Bo is my only friend from college who has served in the military, and there is a bond between those who have worn the uniform of our country – even between Jarheads and G.I.s.  It was an ideal way to spend Veteran’s Day evening: eating great deep-dish pizza, drinking a great beer, and telling war stories with a great friend.

Major Mike Arnett and Bo Barron. Taken by Mike’s 6-year-old son.

In reference to his upcoming speaking engagement, Bo told me of his passion for speaking to groups.  He then asked me if I remembered a Beta Club speech competition in 1993.  I honestly have no recollection of that district round.  Quite conversely, Bo has an extremely vivid memory of the event.  He clearly remembers me beating him in the districts to deprive him of a trip to Louisville.  This was two years before we would become friends and roommates at Murray State University.

Bo responded to this defeat by committing to his public speaking skills, seeking out opportunities for speaking engagements, and building his confidence in front of a group.  Now, he travels from his corner of Western Kentucky to New England (among others) for corporate speaking engagements.

I have a very similar experience with an 8^th grade football teammate, David Campbell*.  David was scrawny even by middle school standards.  Considered that I topped out at 5’7″, it takes a diminutive form for me to use the label “short.” During the football banquet that year, I was surprised to hear that the academic award for highest GPA went to David.  It turns out that my good grades were still short of his 4.0 GPA.  I knew that I would never be the offensive star, but I figured that I could study harder than David and get that award in 9^th grade.

That is exactly what I did.  With a 10×14 wooden plaque supporting a plastic football player as my only motivation for academic excellence, I made a 4.0 and received that academic award.  Holding that award was extremely gratifying, and I took much pride in achieving my goal. Spring semester of my freshman year, I continued taking the same classes and it was not particularly difficult to maintain the same study habits so I kept making As.

During my sophomore season, David did not try out for the team but there were some smart upper class-men, and I really wanted another award.  So, I committed myself to winning the academic award again.  I studied on the J.V. bus during away games.  I used the time in between school and practice to complete small sections of homework.  It went as planned.  I received another 4.0 for the fall semester and another plastic football player.

At the end of our sophomore year, the school released the class standings.  I was surprised to see that I was tied for class valedictorian.  The potential of a much greater accolade motivated me for the next two years.  The study habits and decision-making patterns that I developed out of pursuit of an award with a plastic football player resulted in a full academic scholarship to college.

You will experience failures in your personal and professional lives.  It should not be the failed goal that defines the experience but the way that we respond to the failure.  Consider reflecting on these questions:

1. Why did I not achieve my goal?
2. What do I need to change or improve?
3. What do I need to give up in order to spend my time more productively and succeed?
4. How can I get better?  Be as specific as possible.

To this day, I consider my disappointing 8^th grade football banquet as one of the pivotal moments of my life and David Campbell has my eternal gratitude for his unintentional influence on my academic career.  Likewise, I am glad that Bo Barron holds no grudges.

So what failures in your life have led to pivotal moments?  What failures have you wasted?  We would love to hear from you!