A month ago, I wrote a post on 8 Great Ideas to Be a Better Parent – Part 1.  This is the second half of that post.

I was putting the boys to bed last night, and they asked me to tell them a story.  There is just something about stories.  They suck you in.  A good story-teller can take you into their world.  They can transport you into another place.

My beautiful wife and 2 youngest

I shared with my boys a story from boot camp.  I had about a dozen guys from Puerto Rico in my platoon.  While we were at the tropical paradise of Parris Island, a hurricane hit Puerto Rico.  The guys in my platoon were concerned – as you would imagine.  However, they made a mistake.  They went to a Puerto Rican Senior Drill Instructor for information – from another platoon.  Going outside our platoon brought serious consequences.

The next afternoon, my platoon was practicing drill on the parade deck with that other platoon.  Before I know it, the Puerto Rican guys in my platoon – and me! – are kicked out of my platoon and sent to the other platoon.  Imagine what this looked like.  A dozen Puerto Ricans and a white boy from Kentucky walk across a large parade deck with all of our gear and our rifles.  When we get there, that Senior Drill Instructor looks at us and sends us back.  When we get back to our platoon, we are told to go back to other platoon.  For an hour, we bounce back and forth like a dozen ping-pong balls.

So why was I included with my Puerto Rican brothers?  I have no clue.  My boys were so enthralled about the past of their daddy, they have been asking me all day what I did.  They were enthralled by power of a story.

The previous post shared the first four ideas:  love your spouse, become a student of your children, pursue the hearts of your kids, and develop your family culture.  Here are the second four ideas for being a better parent.

Share Stories

In conjunction with developing your family culture, stories are a great way to communicate and strengthen the values of your family.  Share with your children stories of your past when you endured.  Tell a story about how you paid a price for doing the right thing – and why it was worth it.  Stories knit together hearts.  Stories demonstrate how values and principles play out in real life.  They are powerful.

Apologize

Me and the Beast

There is nothing more effective, in my opinion, then apologizing to our children.  I spoke about pursuing the hearts of our children before.  The truth is, we are going to make mistakes as parents.  We are going to act in anger.  We are going to have a bad day and dump on our kids.  These mistakes break the trust we are trying to build and strengthen with our children.  When we apologize for these mistakes, apologize, and seek the forgiveness of our children, we can restore this trust.  This also allows our children to see what they should do when they make mistakes.  Don’t be too proud or act like you never make any mistakes.  Humble yourselves and apologize.

Be Intentional About the Relationships with Your Children

I have two great friends that do this so well.  One has 5 children and one is expecting their 7th.  Each of these world-class dad’s have a special night with each child each month.  This practice seriously helps becoming a student of your children and pursuing their hearts.  I need to do better here.  Know your children.  If I spend a special evening with each of my children once a month, I need to do what they like.  I can take my oldest son to play basketball, and he is in heaven.  If I do the same with my middle son, I am going to miss his sweet spot.

Spend Time

Dads are especially not good at this.  It is in our nature to provide.  We naturally see our role in the family as protecting and giving our family what they need – and want.  We too often find our identities in our work.  Our children equate time with love.  Don’t believe the lie that says, “You are a good dad because you just provide.”  Our children need us to be with them.

So here is some food for thought on how we can be better parents.  What would you add?  Let us know in the comments below!